Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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