i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
