No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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