we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
