Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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