I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My pussy is not your playground.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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