thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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