I think im going to throw up on grandma
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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