That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Your penis caused this!
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