im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
