After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
