i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
When are your genitals available?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
