I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
