Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
