I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My balls are so social today.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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