we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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