i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
