The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I came so hard my ears popped.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
