just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
