Where is the hickey?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
