She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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