Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Small penises have feelings too.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
