Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
