that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
