Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
