how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
