Sponge bath it is.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
