at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
