I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize