Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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