we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize