god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
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