I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize