New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
