Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
