She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
whose parrot is this?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
