Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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