i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
