I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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