I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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