He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
