You're my little dorito
we have officially lost it.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
