I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
