he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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