Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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