that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he thought i was a dude.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
