Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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