I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
