CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
