I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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