i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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