omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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