Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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