I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
