Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She bit a glass in half.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
