my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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