Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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