doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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