cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
