Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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