I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
